Despair.

I don't know why.
But I felt like posting this.


Jiawen :
You've been my treasure for probably the whole time since I've ever known you.
You want to search for my happiness.
I'm happy to see that.
But my happiness lies within you.
No matter who blames you, I'll protect you.
Who criticizes you, I'll scold them.
Hits you, I'll hit them back.
Makes you cry, I'll make them cry for their mom.
You are one girl, that makes me feel so happy to be proud as a sister of.
You don't have to help me get back.
You just have to be with me, and I'm satisfied enough.
However how much people say that I'm lesbianic?
They are probably wrong.
What I share is my love to her.
Not what seems homosexually.

Santa :
Thanks for comforting me when well, I asked you to.
Sorry for screaming on the phone.
Dad really pressured me.
I can't scream, cry, nor have somebody to talk to.
But you've made me stop.
Thanks for making me feel a bit better.
I appreciate it a lot.

T :
Though I don't know why you did that.
But, I just want to clear this on my head.
I can't tell you how I feel because I'm afraid it corrupts this.
Still, I have to say it.
All I know is, I can't get you away from my thoughts.
I know, I've been harsh on my words.
Probably because I'm stressed after my mom is in the hospital,
and I am really really sorry.
Though I have absolutely no idea why I'd choose to like you.
Even before I started to like you more, it kinda ended earlier than expected.
Don't give me the cold shoulder.
I don't like it.
In fact, it will make me more wary of you.
I can't say out all of what I felt, but I hope this reaches out to you to know what I am explaining.


I can't lie about how I am or how I feel.
I just feel very terrible to the core.