I don't want to see him.

I don't want to, I don't even wish to.

I don't want my mind to wander about simultaneously.
I don't even want to think.
I have absolutely nothing to think of till then.
Happily watching gokusen the anime, then this?
I seriously, don't want to.

You'd think pulling a stunt like that would make me happy, while it does not.
Made me worse.
I don't think, I can make it throughout the day if this constantly appears in my mind.

I let go, but it came back.
Just, why?

Edited - 20:00

Special posts for special loved ones.

Jiawen :
Ive known you long enough and I've seen you throughout the few years to know how and what's on your mind.
Jiawen, stop making me worry for you.
Don't punch walls or do some sorts of things to hurt yourself again.
It's not worth it.
You shouldn't keep things you want to say out to yourself.
Try to be more open to me.
I'd gladly open arms to you.
Don't think that I'm carefree that you should follow like me too.
Just listen to yourself, what you want to do.
If you made the decision, I'll respect your decision and guide you through.
I want you to work hard this year okay?
Don't go around and slack off already.
Be more serious awhile.
Should help you a lot in your studies.
Always aware, I'll always be with you.
Cause you are something I cannot bear to lose, Jiawen.

Yanglin :
Thanks for posting such a sweeeeet post about me.
Now it's mine for you.
Though you are having a hard time trying to please him, do know that I saw you trying.
But, since things have gone topsy turvey for you, let it go for awhile.
You don't really have to be with him twenty-four-seven.
I remember you always shouted at us.
But it was real fun hanging out with you.
Word goes that you might see heaven in one's view. But you cannot blame honesty for triggering out of your mind.
Try to get that meaning.
You might know where I'm heading when I said this. :x.
More or less, you also play an important part in someone who I want to protect from others.

Minbin didi :
Didi, stop doing things that harm your body.
Be it for enjoyment or pouring out your heart, still you shouldn't do things to harm your internal organs.
You always want to protect me as and when, whenever you can.
I really liked that.
Honestly I really do.
But bear in mind you have to protect yourself too.
Small things happened and it will make you go boom.
But if anything were to happen to you, what am I supposed to do?
Still, I have to protect you by all means right?
So don't do things to scare and worry me.
I'll try to be by your side, whenever as much as possible.
Promise me you won't hurt yourself again okay?

To the rest of you guys :
Close friends, gans, buddies and nuddies.
All of you are important to me.
I treat friends more than others.
I treat my loved ones more special than others too.
But, dosen't mean that there's no position in line for you too.
I'll have you all understand that being somebody to manage peace within one self isn't easy at all.
I may look easygoing, easy to bully and some other sorts.
But all I did was for entertainment,
As much as you expected for me to do as much as possible, please.
Do not take me for granted.
If you betray me or just go against me, I won't hesitate to actually hit you.
Better still, it's better if you'd avoid me.
Cause it really pisses me off to see that you are going against me.
So if you really are, so be it.
You are going to face retribution.
One day, you will pay back all the harsh things you said to me.
Believe me, I don't forgive and forget that easily unless there is a reason to.

All I ask, is for everyone's honesty towards me.